


All I ever wanted to be, was in your arms tonight.

by ashkore_varg



Series: you make me wanna live forever [1]
Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Shameless Smut, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 01:27:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18885337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashkore_varg/pseuds/ashkore_varg
Summary: The guys have a show to play, but Vince and Mick can't seem to be able to get Nikki out of his room. Tommy seems to be the only solution to the problem.





	All I ever wanted to be, was in your arms tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write something about these two for literal years, but never found the right inspiration to do so. This was inspired by an interview where Nikki said that the first time they played in Seattle he was so nervous he would't come out of his room. 
> 
> Also this is mostly just a self-indulgent story that I needed to get out of my system, I hope you'll be able to enjoy this absolute dumptser fire lmao

"Dude, Nikki! C'mon, man! We gotta go get ready!" Vince shouted one more time, banging on the door of Nikki’s hotel room.

"Why aren't you at least answering, for fuck's sake?" Mick groaned, then shook his head, folding his arms over his chest before muttering something along the lines of _'fucking kids'_.

They were in Seattle, the place where Nikki had spent most of his life as a kid when he wasn't moving around with his grandparents, before Los Angeles and her vices and virtues charmed, claimed and bound him.

Everyone thought Nikki would have been over the moon excited for this gig, who more than him? They had had a signing session in a record store, they had met fans and they'd even been interviewed. Things were truly starting to come together for them, but Nikki always seemed to hold some sort of anguish and negativity that nobody seemed to be able to figure out or break.

Everyone except Tommy.

Tommy was Nikki’s complete opposite, but in an other side of the same coin kind of way - Nikki was the yin to his yang. They balanced each other out in a chaotic kind of way, Nikki was rage and darkness, while Tommy was glee and light and together they could conjure up the terrible beauty of a storm.

"What's going on, here?" Tommy asked with his brows furrowed, as soon as his lanky figure appeared behind Vince and Mick.

"Nikki won't come out of his fuckin' room, he isn't even answering us." Mick explained, as he turned around to head back to his room, utterly done with these shenanigans.

"I gotta go get my shit too, see if you can do something about this. " Vince rolled his eyes, gesturing vaguely to the door.

Tommy looked over at it, then back to Vince, a skeptical brow quirking up "You know he doesn't listen to anybody."

"He does listen to you, man." Vince tilted his head, as if to try and get his point across, then patted Tommy on his back and left in Mick's wake.

Tommy swallowed thickly, his heart suddenly pounding into his ears. He remembered the first time he'd seen Nikki, he'd been kind of scared of him, and to be fair most people were spooked by his brooding demeanor, but then Tommy had succeeded in cracking that facade, and had even managed to make Nikki laugh that same night.

He remembered he couldn't see his eyes at first, because Nikki wasn't as open and outgoing as Tommy, he was reserved and sort of quiet, even shy, unless he had Jack Daniel's pumping through his body, or was rocking out on stage. He hid behind that dark mane of his as he spoke to people, and Tommy had tried his hardest to see through his armor.

He'd never forget the moment he'd finally managed to see his eyes, even in the poorly lit room Tommy could make out the beautiful pale green of his eyes, and the joy they shone with when he spoke about music. Tommy had heard his parents talk about how they had met, how it had been love at first sight, but he had never truly understood the meaning of that phrase until he'd met Nikki Sixx.

But it wasn't like he'd ever done anything about it, after all they were just band mates, best friends maybe, but lovers? Tommy wasn't stupid enough to make a move on the older boy, that would've been catastrophic.

"Nikki? It's me, Tommy." he'd taken a big, deep breath before uttering those words, and he had even succeeded in keeping his voice steady.

A few seconds of silence went by, seconds that felt like years to Tommy. He bowed his head and rested his hands on his hips, knowing that he needed to do something, anything to make him come out. The show was going to start in a couple hours, give or take, and they truly couldn't afford to stay in the hotel much longer.

He was just about to bang on the door, just to make sure that Nikki was actually awake and he hadn't passed out intoxicated on the floor, when the door cracked open and Nikki’s face came into Tommy's field of view, bangs over his eyes and all. He wasn't even remotely ready, he was still in his underwear and a worn out New York Dolls tank top, the hair on the top of his head looking like a matted mess.

Yet... Nikki had opened the door for him and only him. Vince had been right, apparently. Tommy's heart skipped a beat at the sight and thought, but he did his best to keep his emotions in check.

"What's going on, dude? Are you alright?" Tommy asked, eyebrows drawing together.

He tried to take a quick peek at the inside of the room, scoping for too many empty bottles or baggies of blow lying around.

"I can't do it," Nikki shook his head, and Tommy was sure he wasn't even looking at him "not tonight."

"Fuck are you saying? Of course you can!" Tommy argued right away, face scrunched in confusion.

Nikki didn't say anything and just shrugged, turning around to crawl back on his undone bed, but didn't close the door. Tommy obviously took it as an invitation to come inside, so he did, making sure to shut the door behind his back. The room smelled like a pungent mix of weed, tobacco and spilled whiskey, Nikki’s clothes from the night before were scattered all around the carpet, couple empty packs of cigarettes thrown about, several empty beer cans abandoned in different areas, a broken bottle of Jack laid in a corner - nothing too unusual for the Crüe boys.

"Nikki, talk to me, man…” Tommy started, pushing his own wavy bangs out of his eyes "You were so excited to be here last night, what happened?"

"Well, I changed my fucking mind." Nikki replied, dry, staring up at the ceiling.

"We gotta play a show for our Seattle fans in the same venue you've always told me about!" Tommy tried to hype him up, taking a few tentative steps ahead and hesitating to take a seat at the foot of the bed. “Our fucking idols play to a full house here, all the time, dude!”

Nikki winced, his face contorting into a grimace at his words. It was right at that moment that it clicked for Tommy: Nikki was scared. He probably felt under too much pressure, like there was too big of an expectation of him. His idols had played at the Paramount Theater, and now he was supposed to do the same. That sounded pretty nerve-wracking, if Tommy thought about it… Especially knowing Nik.

"You're Nikki _fucking_ Sixx, man!" Tommy said, daring to take a seat on the edge of the bed, right next to Nikki "You're the most badass bassist around! I mean, you get set on fucking _fire_ during shows, dude! You're fucking rad!"

Nikki let out a snort, followed by a small laugh, and Tommy’s lips stretched into a proud grin. He loved putting a smile on Nikki’s face, it wasn't an easy accomplishment.

"Shut the fuck up, T-Bone." Nikki grumbled, but there was a smirk playing about his lips now.

"I'm physically unable to shut the fuck up, and you know that!" Tommy said as he absentmindedly brought a hand up to brush Nikki’s bangs out of his eyes, and felt a fluttering in his chest when those green eyes finally came into view.

"I know," Nikki rolled his eyes "that's kinda why I like to be around you. Your loud mouth drowns out the shit thoughts in my head."

Tommy's eyes widened, and his heart nearly lurched out of his chest at those words. Nikki suddenly looked like he had accidentally shared too much, but it wasn't like Tommy didn't know about the bad thoughts that swarmed through that thick skull of his. What he wasn't expecting to hear, was that he could keep them at bay.

"Wow, you _did_ shut the fuck up." Nikki commented as he sat up, a nervous chuckle falling off his lips right after.

"Sorry, I just-" Tommy blinked, as if he was trying to wake up from a weird dream.

Nikki shook his head and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, careful not to kick the drummer in the process. He looked down at the dirty carpet and carded his fingers through his messy hair.

"I'm fucking terrified, T. Two years ago we were just playing in shitty bars, now we're playing at the fucking Paramount Theater." Nikki said as he reached over to the cluttered nightstand to grab his pack of cigarettes.

"I know, shit’s crazy, dude!" Tommy said, leaning his elbows on his knees and searching for Nikki’s gaze while he lit his cigarette. "But we're Mötley Crüe, Sixx. We ain't scared of nothing! Not even the devil!"

Nikki laughed around his cigarette and rubbed at his eyes, all the while shaking his head.

"We fucking ain't. We shout at him." Nikki said as he turned to look at Tommy, making him snicker softly.

Slowly, Tommy raised a hand to place it between Nikki’s shoulders, daring to rub a few soothing circles against that spot. He didn't expect Nikki to relax underneath his touch right away, but he did, his aquamarine eyes turning liquid as he stared at Tommy.

"Fuck yeah, we do." Tommy smiled, and Nikki’s lips curled as well.

Nikki went back to nursing his cigarette in silence, while Tommy kept rubbing his back in an affectionate manner. They stayed silent for a while, which was quite unusual for them, especially Tommy, but it felt like the most peaceful moment they've had in the past years and it felt surprisingly nice.

Tommy's hand was still on Nikki’s back, and he could feel the tension in his muscles and bones ease out from underneath his palm. He moved it further up on the nape of the bassist’s neck, his rough fingertips grazing his skin as he squeezed ever so softly, eliciting a shaky sigh from Nikki.

"You good to go?" Tommy asked, then. He would have wanted to stay lingering in that moment forever, but they couldn't.

"Almost." Nikki said as he took the cigarette away from his lips and stretched over to the nightstand once again, but this time to put it out into an overflowing ashtray.

Tommy withdrew his hand, he was just about to stand up when Nikki placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him from doing so.

"I said almost!" Nikki furrowed his eyebrows, and Tommy shot him a puzzled look.

Tommy was so confused that he barely even registered Nikki leaning in to capture his lips with his, but it had happened, and now he was just sitting there, frozen with Nikki’s mouth against his.

Nikki pulled back, a mortified look on his face after he had realized that Tommy hadn't returned the kiss.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" Nikki stuttered, but Tommy this time was sharp enough to close that distance between them again and stopped Nikki from going into a full fledged ramble, or getting up to lock himself into the toilet.

Nikki let out a shuddering breath through his nose and cupped the back of Tommy's neck, his tongue darting between Tommy's lips and giving way to a fiery kiss.

Tommy felt almost dizzy, never in a million years he'd have thought that that conversation was going to end like that but he definitely wasn't mad. He wrapped his arms around Nikki’s shoulders and moved to straddle him, as the kiss deepened and Tommy was suddenly bold enough to grind his hips down into Nikki’s.

“Now there's two of you that won't come out of this fucking room, goddamn it!”

Doc's voice broke through the door and startled the boys so hard that Tommy fell off of Nikki's lap.

"Oh shit!" Nikki laughed as he bent over to help him back up.

"We're coming, Doc!" Tommy yelled, trying not to cackle.

"God, I wish we were coming for real." Nikki said as he pulled Tommy back in his lap to nuzzle his neck with his nose.

A shiver ran down Tommy's spine, and he couldn't help but let his head roll back when Nikki’s teeth started nibbling on his creamy neck.

"We gotta give the kids a great fucking show, first." Tommy never thought he'd be turning Nikki down, but it was the right thing to do.

"What?" Nikki whined as he pulled back to look at him.

"Show first," Tommy raised a brow, then sneaked a hand between them to cup Nikki’s crotch "this later."

Nikki’s jaw slacked when he felt Tommy's fingers on him "Fuck, Tom."

"I know." Tommy smirked, then stood up, ignoring the uncomfortable tightness in his own pants “But work comes first.”

“Thomas Lee Bass, are you seriously being the mature one here?” Nikki asked, his eyes were raking over Tommy's body with a hunger that made him nearly tremble.

“When has anyone of us ever been mature?” Tommy squinted, and Nikki laughed.

“Let's go put some lipstick and heels on, so we can show those kids a motherfucking legendary show.” Tommy went on, holding a hand out for Nikki.

Nikki grabbed onto his hand and stood up, casually stumbling forward and into Tommy's personal space.

“Then we can finish what we started?” Nikki asked, eyes boring into Tommy's as his finger traced the silhouette of the drummers clothed cock.

Tommy couldn't fight back the shudder that jolted through him, if they didn't have a concert to play he'd drop to his knees right there and then, but he couldn't. That was their first real tour outside of California, they couldn't screw this up.

“If you're a real good boy on stage, yes.” Tommy cocked an eyebrow.

He couldn't believe the words that had left his lips, but he could see the fire of the challenge light up in Nikki’s eyes.

“I'll be the best one.” Nikki smirked, and Tommy took that as his cue to leave the room to go grab his stuff for the show.

“What the fuck were you doing all this time?” Doc growled at him as soon as he was out of the room, making him flinch in surprise.

He had already forgotten he'd been waiting for them.

“Convincing Nikki to get out of his room like y'all asked. You're fucking welcome.” Tommy threw up the horns at him, and quickly ran to his own room.

He could feel his pulse thrumming in his ears, muffling every other sound coming from the hotel halls. He couldn't believe what had happened, he couldn't believe Nikki had kissed him. Nikki wanted him, probably as bad as he wanted Nikki, and it was the most exhilarating sensation he'd ever experienced. Even better than drumming for thousands of people. Even better than having coke shooting through his system.

  
  


***

  
  


The whole ride to the venue, Nikki was sort of clinging to Tommy, one way or the other, whether it was wrapping an arm around his shoulder, or a hand on his knee, or giving a gentle tug on a strand of hair. It wasn't really something new, Nikki was always putting his hands all over Tommy, but after the kiss it just felt different... And apparently it _looked_ different too, because everyone was eyeing them with suspicion, or just a knowing little smirk.

"It took you a while to get this asshole out of his room. We thought you weren't gonna come out, either." Vince commented casually, halfway to the theater.

Mick's gaze was boring into Tommy's very soul, and there was this feeling of exhilaration lacing the blood in his veins. Nikki’s hand stroke through Tommy's loose curls and waves, before his fingertips dug into his scalp, causing his body to tremble slightly.

"He's a stubborn bastard, you know that." Tommy smirked.

He was sort of torn between keeping what had happened as a secret, something just between he and Nikki, or yelling it from the very top of the Space Needle.

"That I am," Nikki tilted his head, then moved his hand down to the back of Tommy's neck, green eyes scanning boyish features "but he's actually pretty damn good at being convincing." he added, breaking into a smirk.

Tommy wasn't expecting Nikki to say that, and it made his heart beat faster against his ribcage, yet he still wound his lower lip between his teeth and wriggled his eyebrows.

"Well that was one long ass blow job, he gave you." Mick cut in, raising his brows.

Vince and Tommy cackled, and Nikki shook his head, grin still plastered on his face as he looked back over adoringly at the drummer. Tommy threw an arm around Nikki’s neck and pulled him in to press a hard kiss on his cheek and Nikki chuckled softly, placing a hand on Tommy's knee.

"Save it for later, alright? We've already got Vince fucking chicks ten minutes before the show, and we're already late." Mick went on as he watched them.

Vince cracked into a grin, then took a sip from the bottle of whiskey he'd brought along, only to have Tommy snatch it right from his hand.

"We'll try to behave." Nikki replied, his hand not so subtly traveling from Tommy's knee to his thigh, making the drummer spill the whiskey he was trying to chug.

For a moment he thought Nikki would lap it up from his chin, the fiery look in his eyes and the flick of his tongue against his own lips suggesting just so, but he averted his gaze instead and gave Mick one of his signature toothy grins.

That was going to turn into the most interesting night ever, Tommy knew that much.

  
  
  


***

  
  
  


They didn't have much time to get ready, only the hour it usually took them to get in full face and outfit, and this time Nikki even asked Tommy to help him tease his hair, only to have an excuse to press his nose into Tommy's stomach.

"You smell so good." Nikki commented "Could eat you right up."

Tommy felt his lower stomach burn with want as he worked the comb and Aqua-Net through Nikki’s hair. He never thought he could be capable of such restraint, but it somehow spiced things up to know that they needed to wait to complete an entire show before doing anything.

"You'd ruin your pretty lipstick." Tommy smirked down at him, then took care of his own hair as he looked back into the mirror.

Nikki grabbed him by the hips and pressed his lips on the strip of skin that was left exposed on his lower stomach, between the hem of his leggins and the torn up top, leaving a red mark. Tommy gasped and looked down at the devilish smile stretching across Nikki’s lips, his cock twitching at the mere sight, and the promises it held.

"Can't wait to get it all over you." Nikki said, digging his nails into Tommy's sides.

Tommy fought against the need to plunge his tongue into Nikki’s mouth, his fingers clenching so tightly around the comb he thought he was going to snap it in half.

"You're up in ten, boys!"

Tommy suddenly remembered that there were actually other people in that room, and pulled away from Nikki.

"Show first." Tommy tilted his head.

"I'll be fucking great." Nikki announced, rising to his feet.

Tommy snatched a forgotten half empty bottle of kahlua that laid besides Mick's guitar case. The guitarist was definitely going to kill him, but he didn't care for his threats, he never did.

"Promises, promises." he grinned and took a large swig of liquor before handing the bottle to Nikki, leaving him behind as he grabbed his drumsticks and stuck them down his pants as he followed the others backstage.

Tommy knew Nikki was still nervous as hell, he could tell the moment he showed up on stage. He was hiding behind his hair again, he wasn't interacting with the audience as much as he was used to and stayed on his side of the stage for a while before actually finding that confidence he usually had.

He had looked back at Tommy, and Tommy had winked and blown him a kiss, and it was then that Nikki grinned and pushed his bangs out of his eyes and started truly giving his all. He went on and murdered his performance, making Tommy smile like a maniac through the entire gig.

The show was insane, the audience went absolutely crazy and Tommy felt so proud of himself for getting Nikki to stop being in his head, that the moment they got off the stage he all but launched himself at the bassist and they both fell to the floor in hysterics. Mick nearly stomped on Nikki’s arm and Vince tripped over Tommy's skinny legs, and fell almost face first onto the dirty linoleum, only causing them to laugh harder as Tommy rolled off of Nikki.

"I'm too old for this shit." Mick had commented, but Tommy had seen the smirk that curved his lips.

Vince cussed them out, but ended up joining in on the infectious fit of laughter, until he saw a couple groupies that had sneaked backstage, and he was up on his feet and away in a moment.

"Wanna find a couple girls and celebrate the success?" Tommy asked with a smile that hid his uncertainty.

Nikki might have just changed his mind if a few hot chicks were to stop by, and even though Tommy knew he should brace himself for the possibility, it would have still stung.

"Girls?" Nikki asked, eyebrows drawn together in confusion "That wasn't what you promised back in my room." he tilted his head, hair falling over his face and sticking to his lipstick.

Tommy bit his lower lip as his smile bloomed into a grin “Just checking if you were still up for it, dude.”

Nikki slipped his tongue between Tommy's already parted lips and licked into his mouth until Tommy was back on top of him, kissing him hard enough to bruise.

"Let's go back to-" Nikki panted against Tommy's lips, trying to catch his breath "to my room."

"I don't know if I can wait that long..." Tommy whined, rutting against Nikki wantonly.

He was about to lose his mind, he was so overwhelmed by the entire situation that he could have passed out. He wanted Nikki so badly, he had never felt so desperate to feel someone, to be with them, to have them in every possible way, the same way he was feeling about Nikki.

Nikki threw his head back, moaning at the friction caused by Tommy's hips against his, but grabbed him by the shoulders nonetheless, trying to gain his attention.

"Tommy. My room." Nikki said, shooting him a pointed look.

Tommy frowned, but he did stop writhing like a dog in heat and slid off of Nikki, sitting on the floor. He suddenly remembered they were still backstage, and techs were dismantling the stage and packing everything up.

It wasn't like any of them were new to public sex, but in Tommy's insecure mind, he didn't know whether he should be happy or worried about Nikki being so adamant about wanting to go back to the hotel, when Vince was probably banging those girls either in an unlocked toilet or the dressing room.

"Are you ashamed of me?" Tommy couldn't help but blurt out. He didn't think he'd have asked it, but he still had alcohol and a couple lines of blow buzzing through his head and veins, and he just couldn't help himself.

Nikki looked absolutely horrified, and didn't speak for a good few moments. Tommy was legitimately freaking out, so he struggled to pull himself back on his feet, the seven inch heels he was wearing doing nothing to help.

"What the fuck did you just ask?" Nikki managed to ask.

Tommy couldn't even look at him, but Nikki clambered up to his feet as well, pulling Tommy out of the way of the techs who were starting to come down the hall, and grabbing him by the chin so that he would look into his eyes again.

"Why the fuck would you say that? Why would I be ashamed of you?" Nikki asked. He didn't sound angry, he sounded... Hurt.

Tommy's eyes drifted away, no matter the grip on his chin. He was feeling like a complete idiot, but it wasn't like he was the most confident person himself, because what he showed to the public, his crazy drummer persona, wasn't necessarily his entire truth. He felt like a helpless, insecure kid most of the times, despite how he may have looked on stage or during parties, Tommy held a fragility that he tried to make up for with craziness and excess.

"I don't know..." Tommy answered almost in a whisper.

It wasn't easy for him to wrap his mind around the fact that Nikki was truly interested in him, the same way Tommy was interested in him.

Nikki pulled him in for a kiss, only this time it was a soft, gentle pressure of lips against lips, just when other techs kept walking up and down the hall doing their job. Tommy felt his heart nearly bursting out of his chest as he melted into the kiss, placing a hand on Nikki’s chest, feeling his heart beating fast against his palm.

"I just want some privacy. And comfort." Nikki explained, pulling back and shaking his head "That's all."

"I'm a dumbass." Tommy murmured as he lowered his eyes.

"Yeah." Nikki chucked him underneath his chin "You're _my_ dumbass, though." he smirked.

Tommy felt his heart climbing up his throat. Was Nikki claiming him as his own? That was surely a lot to process, his head felt light and his body nearly felt like someone else's.

Yeah, he was Nikki's. He'd been his long before Nikki said so, and maybe deep down he'd always known.

Tommy felt himself blush underneath what makeup was left on his face and rolled his eyes, lips curling into a sheepish smile. Nikki cupped his jaw with one hand, and his ass with the other, tilting his head to the side as he leaned in to whisper into Tommy's ear.

"Can we go now? I got lipstick to get _all_ over you, remember?" he ground his hard cock against Tommy's thigh in the process, voice suddenly hoarse with lust.

Tommy let out a moan and grabbed Nikki by the wrist, stumbling in a hurry to go grab their stuff from the dressing room and getting the driver to take them back to the hotel, all the while dragging the bassist along, as they both snickered like the children that they were.

  
  


***

  
  


The driver hadn't questioned a thing, as usual, even when he saw Tommy and Nikki get back to the van alone, no Mick, no Vince, but most importantly, _no girls_. At the end of the day he always minded his business, after all he'd already seen some gnarly things happening around Crüe, but still in the back of Tommy's mind, the driver was probably finding this to be one of the weirdest things of all.

They climbed inside the van, knowing that the hotel wasn't that far away from the venue, and Nikki grabbed Tommy's hand and laced their fingers together. Tommy's heart started drumming wildly into his chest, his knee bouncing all the while as he let his nerves get the best of him, but Nikki was used to him being restless and practically always in motion. They shared what was left of a bottle of Jameson that had been forgotten underneath one of the seats, in silence, and as soon as the van had stopped they bolted out.

When they were inside the elevator, Tommy turned to Nikki and opened his mouth to say something, anything, because the quiet in the van had been too much to handle, but Nikki cracked one of his lopsided grins and Tommy's brain turned to complete mush, and all he could do was push Nikki against the wall and kiss him.

It was sort of addictive, well Nikki in general was Tommy's addiction, but kissing him was something that Tommy thought he could never get tired of. Now that he had started it was worse than blow, he wanted more and more, and he was probably gonna crave it in the most inconvenient moments.

Nikki chuckled against his lips and grabbed him by the hips, his tongue finding Tommy's right away. Tommy was feeling light headed once again, and he knew the booze wasn't the only thing to blame, he knew that it was all Nikki's fault. Nikki and his beautiful eyes, his killer smile and those hands that kept grabbing his ass in such a possessive manner that almost tipped Tommy off the edge.

The elevator dinged, alerting them that it had reached their floor, and the doors slid open to reveal a middle aged couple staring at them in complete and utter bewilderment. Tommy cracked a shit-eating grin at them, then unhitched himself from Nikki who winked at the couple before they made their way to Nikki's room. They must have been quite a sight, with those bushy hair, heavy makeup and crazy clothes as they made out in an elevator, and Tommy couldn't stop laughing about it.

"Dude, their faces!" Tommy said as he leaned against Nikki's shoulder.

"Should have asked if they wanted to join in on the fun!" Nikki laughed, and tried to slip the key into the slot to unlock his room, failing a couple times.

"Oh shit! We should have!"

Nikki finally succeeded in opening the door and Tommy's stomach quivered in anticipation. That was it, it was really going to happen. He stepped inside and Nikki followed right after, locking up the door behind them once he did. Tommy stared at the bed, the exact same spot where they'd been sitting not too long ago, and felt Nikki wrap his arms around his waist from behind him, and starting to leave a trail of kisses along his shoulder and neck.

Tommy's eyes fluttered shut and he leaned back against Nikki, his head tilting to the side when Nikki moved a strand of hair off of his neck and began to suck a bruise on his pale skin. Tommy moved a hand back to rest it on Nikki's thigh for support, moaning at the burning sensation that shot right through him and coiled between his thighs.

"Thank you..." Nikki suddenly murmured against his abused flesh.

Tommy blinked his eyes open, eyebrows drawing together in confusion at those words "W-what?"

"I said thank you..." Nikki said as he went back to lick behind Tommy's ear.

Nikki never said _‘thank you’_ , just like he never said _‘sorry’_ , but in that moment Tommy could barely think straight. His blood had drained from his brain to pour mostly into his lower regions. His knees buckled and his grip on Nikki’s thigh tightened, but the confusion was still there.

"What are you talking about?" Tommy managed to ask.

"What you did for me tonight, T-Bone." Nikki placed a soft kiss right where he'd left a mark.

Tommy couldn't help but turn around, a timid smile playing about his lips as he briefly looked at Nikki, then lowered his gaze.

"It's no problem, Sixx." Tommy shrugged "You always encourage me when I doubt myself."

"I'm mostly just pushing you to do stupid shit." Nikki chuckled. "But you always got my back."

Tommy looked back up at him and laughed "You did support my new drum set idea, though."

"That's fucking rad, Tom! You're a genius, I'm always telling you." Nikki shrugged a shoulder.

Tommy felt his heart thumping into his throat and ears, his face flushing. He would have wanted to say something stupid that would have probably ruined everything, because they were part of the band that sang about being _'Too Young To Fall In Love'_ , yet there he was, standing in the arms of the man he'd been in love with since the first time he'd seen him.

But he couldn't tell him. That would have been an awful mistake, something that could even split the band up, and it was too soon for that. Tommy could never forgive himself if that were to happen.

"Why me?" Tommy asked instead, unable to restrain the storm inside of him.

Nikki furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, clearly taken aback by the question.

"Why not a hot chick?" Tommy arched an eyebrow.

He was already regretting his stupid decision, especially when Nikki tilted his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"Chicks want one thing from me and I want one from them," Nikki arched an eyebrow "they make me feel good in those moments, then it's back to... That void that eats away at me, all the time. Then I look at you, and that void fills up instantly."

Tommy's eyes widened comically, his jaw slacked as he tried to find something, anything at all to say, but he couldn't. He had no idea what he was feeling, thinking, he felt like he wasn't inside his body anymore and his soul was expanding and filling the entire room.

"Let me make you feel as good as you make me feel, T-Bone." Nikki said as he backed Tommy up towards the bed.

Tommy didn't know whether to laugh or cry, but instead he just nodded and flopped down onto the unmade bed and watched as Nikki shed the pieces of leather and studs that decorated his body, before crawling on top of him.

Nikki pushed his fingers underneath Tommy's top, rough fingerpads grazing across his stomach, up to his chest and finding his nipples, he rubbed them softly, a shaky breath leaving the drummer's lips. The bassist dipped his head, tongue flicking at Tommy's hardened nipple before wrapping his lips around it and sucking. Tommy moaned, hips arching off of the bed in the process, he felt heat pooling into his lower stomach as Nikki's mouth roamed further down his torso, fingers making a quick work of undoing his belt and the strings on the front of his pants.

Tommy was freaking out. He still couldn't believe all of this was happening, he couldn't believe Nikki was actually about to go down on him. He'd had dreams about this, uncomfortable, wet dreams that made him wake up very hot and extremely bothered by how much he knew it could never turn into reality. Now that Nikki's hands were pulling down his pants, his heart was legitimately about to rip out of his chest, so he tried to delay everything by sitting up and tugging on Nikki's top.

Nikki smirked up at Tommy and let him peel off his top, the fabric getting tangled into his hair and making him snicker. Nikki rid Tommy of his top too, then cupped his chin and kissed him gently before asking "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah." Tommy nodded, a soft smile stretching across his lips.

Nikki nodded himself, then sunk back down to slowly pull Tommy's pants down and reveal his already leaking cock. Nikki grinned and pushed Tommy to lay back down on the bed, before wrapping his fist around the base of Tommy's prick, giving it a couple good pulls before enveloping the head into the heat of his mouth.

"Oh God..." Tommy cried, hands flying up to cover his own eyes.

Nikki wasn't playing around when he said that he wanted to make Tommy feel good, his hand and head were working in a steady pace, lips tightening as he swallowed around his length, adding a little bit of teeth just to tease him. He pulled all the way back with a loud, wet pop and looked up at Tommy who just happened to have been peeking through trembling fingers, and caught a glimpse of Nikki’s impish grin before slowly taking him back into his mouth until the tip hit the back of his throat.

Tommy let out a long and loud moan, eyes now unable to leave Nikki as he started bobbing his head quicker, his hand stroking what he couldn't fit in his mouth. He propped himself up on one elbow and moved his other hand to pull Nikki’s hair out of his face, hips stuttering frantically as his body demanded more friction, more pleasure. Nikki’s mouth around him felt like heaven, but it wasn't enough, he craved so much more.

Tommy tugged on Nikki’s hair, hard and firm, trying to gain his attention. Nikki received the message and suddenly halted, pulling back to stare at Tommy. He looked even more beautiful with his slightly watery eyes, the black messed up stripes across his cheekbones, smudged eye makeup and chin covered in bleeding lipstick and drool.

“Fuck me, Nikki.” Tommy said, breath slightly ragged.

He all but attacked Tommy's lips making him fall back against the mattress with an _'oof'_ , the drummer wrapped his arms around Nikki’s neck, pulling him flush against his body as they kissed hard and deep, and ground up into Nikki’s leather pants, moaning into his mouth.

“You're so fucking hot, Tommy.” Nikki groaned.

He started to messily get rid of the rest of Tommy's clothes, and Tommy did the same. They kept getting tangled into fishnets, leather and studs, laughing and accidentally ripping more holes into their clothes as they went.

Once the clothes were finally off, Tommy was on his hands and knees, waiting for Nikki to get back on the bed after rummaging through one of his bags, and felt his entire body tremble with anticipation when the mattress dipped behind him. He heard the pop of a bottle of lube being opened, and couldn't help but look over his shoulder to see Nikki coat his entire hand with it.

Tommy sucked his lower lip between his teeth and held his breath for a moment, until he felt one of Nikki’s fingers rub against his entrance.

“‘s cold.” Tommy hissed, almost without realizing it.

"I know," Nikki chuckled and tentatively pressed the pad of his finger against Tommy's opening "gonna get warmer soon."

Tommy's jaw tightened at the sensation, his eyelids screwing shut. Then Nikki's finger breached him and his jaw fell open, fists tightening around the sheets, there was no sound coming out of his mouth at first, the sensation almost too overwhelming for him to even breathe.

He was tensing up, he knew he shouldn't have but he couldn't help it, at least until the first finger was just slowly sliding inside and his body was trying to adjust to the intrusion. Then he let out a shaky sigh, and Nikki started pumping his finger in and out of him, trying to curve the first knuckle to reach deeper inside of him, making him gasp and moan, wavy hair falling into his face and sticking to his forehead.

Soon enough Nikki was pushing three fingers inside of him, twisting and curling them until Tommy's chest was pressed against the mattress and he was biting into the pillow, profanities spilling from his lips like a ruptured dam. He thought he wasn't going to last, but as soon as he'd started to think that he could have come just with the work of those goddamned bass player fingers, Nikki pulled them out and replaced them with his tongue.

"Oh shit! Fuck!" Tommy cried. He wasn't expecting that at all, the warmth of Nikki’s tongue nearly made his knees give out completely.

He could feel Nikki’s fingers digging into his asscheeks as he ate him out, and he just had to try and look behind him once again just to catch a glimpse of Nikki pulling back and wiping his mouth on his wrist as his eyes bore into Tommy's. He wasn't sure whether he looked like a god or a devil, as he stroke himself and smirked at Tommy, but either way he was the most gorgeous creature he'd ever seen.

"C'mhere, babe..." Nikki called out, and Tommy's already hazed brain almost short circuited.

_Babe._

He couldn't believe he'd called him _babe_.

It had almost sounded like the most beautiful melody ever crafted by mankind as it had left his lips. It was just a pet name, a common one, but said by the man he was in love with, in such an intimate moment, it sounded like it was the first time he'd ever heard it in his life.

Nikki grabbed him by his hips and pulled him closer, until he was sitting up on his knees, back resting against Nikki's stomach and chest.

“Told you I was gonna eat you up.” Nikki chuckled, hand stroking up and down Tommy's torso.

Tommy threw his head back and laughed, hand moving back to pet Nikki's hair. He was completely drunk on the bassist, he had never felt so wanted and cared for during sex, and it was exhilarating.

“Do I taste good?” Tommy asked with a smirk.

To answer the question, Nikki caught him by the chin to kiss him. It was one of the most bizarre and fulfilling feelings he'd ever experienced to taste himself on Nikki's tongue, he almost felt dizzy with bliss and desire.

It was then that Tommy turned around and decided that he wasn't going to passively enjoy this anymore, he placed one hand on Nikki's shoulder and used the other one to guide his cock between his legs and stared at him with a slacked jaw while he slowly lowered himself on it.

"Fuck, Tommy!" Nikki cried as he looked up at him in wonder, hands sliding up his sides to steady him.

"Oh shit..." Tommy breathed out as he sat completely on Nikki's thighs.

"God, you feel so fucking amazing." Nikki nuzzled Tommy's neck and bit on the soft flesh where it met with the shoulder.

Tommy smirked down at him, pride swelling into his chest as he adjusted himself on Nikki's lap until he was comfortable enough, hissing at both the feeling of Nikki being buried deep inside him and his teeth marking him further.

"You've been such a good boy, tonight. You deserve it." Tommy's smirk grew into a full blown grin, then he started rolling his hips with a long, drawn out moan.

Nikki's face morphed into a grimace of pleasure, a throaty moan left his lips, his fingers dug into Tommy's sides as he started bouncing on him at a slow but steady pace. One of Nikki's hands slid up to tangle into the long hair on the back of Tommy's head and pulled on it, so that Tommy's head would roll back as he started thrusting up into him roughly, lips locking on Tommy's throat. Tommy scratched at Nikki's shoulder blades, leaving angry red marks on his pale skin and making him cry out, while Tommy's eyes rolled in the back of his skull at the white hot pleasure scorching through him.

"Fuck!" Tommy groaned all of a sudden "Harder!"

Nikki didn't let him say it twice, he pushed Tommy off of his lap, pulling out in the process and lifting both of Tommy's legs before slamming back in, the angle perfect to hit that sweet spot inside of Tommy's body, and making him moan long and loud as he fisted the sheets and his toes curled. He couldn't hold back anymore, not even if he tried, so he just let himself finally fall over the edge, tugging hard enough on the fabric to tear.

Nikki kept fucking him through the aftershocks and Tommy actually felt hot tears roll down his cheeks, Nikki wasn't too far behind, his stuttering hips being the most obvious hint. It only took a couple more thrusts for him to reach his limit, he dropped Tommy's legs and leaned forward to capture Tommy's cold lips as he came inside him, the drummer swallowed his moans and wrapped his arms around him, holding him as tight as his tired muscles allowed him to.

Nikki pulled out and all but collapsed by Tommy's side, then grabbed the discarded New York Dolls top and used it to wipe up Tommy's sticky stomach. Tommy laughed at the gesture, but he found it sweet nonetheless, so he cupped Nikki's jaw and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I'm gonna need a bit more than that, but thanks." Tommy said as he sat up.

Now that they were both sated, Tommy wondered whether Nikki would have kicked him out of his room and pretended like all of this had never happened.

"We can take a shower later," Nikki said, wrapping an arm around him and nuzzling his side "where are you going?"

Tommy's heart skipped a beat as he looked down at the bassist, he bit his lower lip and ruffled Nikki's hair. Nikki wanted him to stay, and he was going to do that, what was going to happen afterwards he couldn't know... But so far so good. He could settle for that, at least.

"I gotta take a piss, and at least..." Tommy gestured vaguely between his legs "Y'know."

Nikki placed a few kisses on Tommy's side "Don't take too long?"

"Promise." Tommy said as he stood up, and started in the direction of the bathroom, but caught a glimpse of himself into the mirror first.

He looked absolutely disheveled, his hair was an actual mess, and his body was covered in hickies, bite marks, lipstick and other fluids, and he fucking loved it.

"You look fucking stunning." Nikki said, and Tommy looked back to the bed and found him lying across the mattress with his chin resting on top of his crossed arms, a lopsided smirk playing about his lips.

"You should paint me more often." Tommy dared to suggest with a grin.

"Oh, I'm gonna." Nikki wiggled his eyebrows, then rolled onto his back before stretching out like a cat.

Tommy wanted to scream out a _'Fuck yeah!'_ , but thought that probably wouldn't have been appropriate, so he just laughed and shook his head before going to the bathroom. By the time he got back Nikki had already dozed off, so he decided that they might as well just sleep lying across the bed, he readjusted the pillows and blankets so that they could still be covered, and lied down next to Nikki, who immediately blinked his eyes open.

"Didn't mean to wake you." Tommy spoke softly.

"'s ok, babe." Nikki slurred as he slung an arm across his stomach and curled around him.

Tommy thought he'd known what being happy felt like before, but it turned out he hadn't experienced to its fullest. Now that Nikki was sleeping all cuddled up to him, as his heart pounded into his chest and his face hurt from smiling too hard... Tommy was sure he knew what real happiness felt like.


End file.
